First Fruits Friday - Thankful for Healing

“And you, child, will be called prophet of the Most High, for you will go before the Lord to prepare his ways, to give his people knowledge of salvation through the forgiveness of their sins, because of the tender mercy of our God by which the daybreak from on high will visit us”

Lk: 1, 76-78

For most of my life, I struggled with finding myself. As a child, I remember being extremely happy and energetic every day. I used to go out early in the mornings and enjoy the beauty of nature, the sun and the wind blowing through my face while I was skating and playing outside, until the light posts would start to light up.

Then, things changed for me. My family had to move from a small town to a big city which changed my life drastically. I was growing up and becoming a teen, meeting new people, yet still doing well.

Suddenly, my life took an unexpected twist. I got involved in an unhealthy relationship. I didn’t know what I was doing and several times a week I was bullied, shamed, and abused. I felt like there was no escape and then a miracle in my life happened, God gave me a son!

As much as I loved being a mom, the judgmentalism of people telling me that “I was a child raising a child” took a toll on me. I didn’t know what I was doing. Life became very different as my circumstances became more and more difficult. As I was stumbling, I understood I had to right myself and move forward.  I had no choice; I wasn’t going to let my baby and myself down. I kept going in life, pretending that nothing major happened. I also remembered being the proudest teen mom everywhere I went.

 As life went by, I graduated from high school, went to college, became a mom of four other beautiful children and traveled to many countries around the world. I married a wonderful man. I thought I had it all! But things weren’t like that.  Reality was far from what I thought. Despite knowing these blessings and many more, a part of me was still missing. Something wasn’t right.

As I continued my journey in life, I knew God was calling me. I started becoming more and more active in my faith and felt a huge desire to help others, particularly young moms like me!

I started volunteering at Seneca and I was asked if I could share my story. I didn’t know I had a story!! As I began to recall my past, some extremely difficult memories arose.  Old realities hit me in the face.  I couldn’t understand why I was being impacted so heavily and thrown for a major loop. I thought I had dealt with the old abuse.  Darn it!  I had put that pain inside a backpack and never looked back.   

A friend recognized I was having a real tough time as my old wounds were flaring.  She offered loving support which I gratefully accepted. I knew something was not right with me and I had nothing to lose. I trusted God was trying to work in my life and despite significant misgivings, chose to go on a healing retreat.

This act of faith was one of the best things I’ve ever done.

I’ve just recently come back from the healing retreat. My life has changed. I’ve re-connected with who I was before my trauma. That girl who was extremely happy and energetic came back alive within me. I am more complete - more than ever before!

God had a plan for me, and I was able to see His plan! I am as sure as I can be that I was made to serve him and to be a vessel for him. I am convinced that in order to be that woman, I had to walk next to him with my own cross to be able to get where I am today!

Whatever crosses you may be carrying, please know that caring and loving support is here waiting for you at Seneca.  All you have to do is ask.